Uncertainty
by Lady Papillon Rose
Summary: Retasu wrestles with her insecurity and her feelings for Ryou after saving him. Based on episode 41 of the TMM anime. Sappy fluff, one-shot.


A.N.: This is the first time I've written an unplanned one-shot, and I have no idea where I'm going with this so just bear with me!! ::apologetic:: Anyway...the setting is after episode 41 of the anime, where Retasu (I'm used to the Japanese names after watching the anime so I'm using them...) saves Ryou from drowning and kisses him to revive him, so the setting is afterwards when Retasu and Purin are catching a ride back to the café with Ryou and Keiichiro. Like I said, bear with me. This is meant to be writer's block shattering fluff of the Ryou x Retasu kind. It's excruciatingly sappy, I must warn you. ::sigh:: Oh, yeah. Disclaimer. I no own TMM.

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The heart is perhaps the most unpredictable thing in existence, even more so than the weather. Or Ichigo's mood swings. I'm not too sure about that last one. But I can definitely say for certainty that it's up there.

Certainty. I have to say that one with a laugh. I can't remember a time in my life when I've ever been exactly certain, or sure of myself, in regards to anything. When you constantly make mistake after mistake, broken dish after shattered glass, mispronounced word after ungainly sprawl, you begin to believe that every step will be a misstep, every word uttered will be the wrong one. Which is why I try to remain silent, and let the others lead the way. Ichigo, Mintu, and Zakuro (I honestly can't say the same thing for Purin...) are always so sure of themselves, and somehow, even when they do fall, they always manage to catch themselves before they hit the ground. In regards to Ichigo, I mean that metaphorically. Even though I really can't say anything without making myself a hypocrite.

Why this sudden train of thought? Speculation on my various screw-ups throughout not only my career, but life in general, isn't exactly something new to me. It's frightening how many times a day, in a single hour, my demons decide to attack me; in class, reading aloud (shakily), I'll suddenly have flashes, memories of a misread sentence, the snickers, the ironically audible whispers of 'stupid', 'retard'...and my throat will close, my palms slick with perspiration, and silence will take over again; simply walking, I'll hear the echoed laughter following a previous episode of tripping over my own two feet, and in my distraction repeat the process, as if trapped in a painful circle of sounds that tear at your heart and break your spirit. I'm grateful to the gods that this has yet to happen to me while in battle -- if one of the other Mew Mews...if one of my friends...or anyone else, for that matter, were to get hurt due to my foolish actions...I'd never forgive myself.

It almost happened today.

The Chimera anima came out of nowhere, almost as swiftly and unexpectedly as my painful episodes of self-hatred. One second, I was poised on the front of an expensive high-velocity speedboat, torn between the ecstasy of being surrounded by water (my porpoise genes have affected me much more than I expected them to), the panic rising in my chest that's commonplace for **anyone** crouching on a moving boat and waiting for orders to face off against some form of bionatural evil on their own...and the sense of near fatal embarrassment threatening to overwhelm me resulting from actually being _near_ Ryou Shirogane in the middle of _nowhere_. Earlier, before the myriads of Chimera animas attacked Ichigo and Purin underwater, it had been something just short of agony sitting beside him; more than likely every girl who knows him has had at least a brief fantasy of a moment similar to that...except I'm probably the only one that was entirely too stupid to take advantage of it, muttering "Don't look at him, don't look at him, don't even look in that **direction**" like a life-saving mantra under my breath, whispered words of a spell meant to bind me, like a video game, to prevent me from doing something utterly stupid like turning to him and....I don't know, smiling at him. Ichigo would probably laugh at me for that one, saying that it had never even occurred to me to consider _kissing_ him.

Oh, dear. That's a frightening thought. Oh, my.

The temporary lapse in my ability to think straight, alongside a horrifically conspicuous burning sensation across my cheeks that I know is a blush, suddenly reminds me of my surroundings, which I'd hoped to avoid thinking about because they're almost as bad as the boat ride with Ryou itself.

The fact that he's sitting right next me doesn't help matters either.

As if reading my racing mind, he turns to me, smiling that absolutely adorable smile that seems to send my brain off into a frenzy every time I see it. "You alright?"

I nod vigorously, turning to look out the dark-tinted window of the car I'm seated in the backseat of. Purin insisted on riding in the front with Keiichiro and after that earlier run-in with the aliens no one really had the strength or conviction to argue otherwise. She's probably driving him further toward insanity as we speak. "Yes," I reply softly. "Thanks for the ride, Shirogane-san. I just need to get my bag and then I promised Purin I'd walk home with her."

"No problem." Ryou stretches, leaning back against the strangely warm leather I'm sitting on the edge of, afraid I'll...I don't know, accidentally tear a hole in or something. More improbable things have happened to me in the past. "Anyway, you deserve it. You did save the day, after all." His eyes stray toward the ceiling and I sigh inwardly in relief, grateful to no longer be in his gaze. "Mine, at least."

Somehow his words only serve to make me feel worse. "Th-thank you," I stutter, cursing my tongue. We fall silent again, Ryou lost in his own thoughts, leaving me to face mine.

I'm not sure whether I made the right decision today, as horrible as that sounds. Like I was saying, one second we were racing along, hoping to find Masha in time, the next we were flying through the air as the Chimera anima crashed against the boat, instantly hitting the water with the bone-shaking crack resulting from a misplaced dive. The water rushed into my lungs, my heart racing at the sensation of weightlessness in the sea, the shock swiftly shifting to panic as I realized that I was by myself. Ryou had obviously been knocked unconscious by the attack, and was being swept away by the rushing waves, those beautiful eyes of his closed, and I found that the only thought I could grasp was not of responsibility, of eradicating the Chimera anima, of fulfilling my duty to the Mew Mews...but of Ryou's safety, the possibility that I might never see those eyes again...when the Chimera anima appeared before me, smirking as if it knew my plight, and seized Ryou in its claws, darting off into the waves, shaking off my hurried attack as if brushing away a troublesome insect. I may have screamed, but in my mind I only heard echoed a phrase I've heard time and time again in movies, hard-eyed, confident women suddenly faced with the possibility of losing the one they've devoted their heart to.

'Now this shit is personal.' I know, I know, it's a weakness, but American movies are so...violent and vulgar, in the most delightful manner. Purin's the one who initiated my love for them in the first place.

And just as swiftly as the attack, my heart took the wheel, all logic and uncertainties taking the backseat.

Looking back, I wonder how I managed to swim for what appeared to be miles, unaware of the fire in my lungs (even porpoises need to breathe), the dull throbbing in my head, my eyes locked onto Ryou's limp form retreating into the dark depths, my hand ever stretched out to him, words I'd never even dream of giving voice to running through my mind; grab on, please don't leave me alone, don't tear the wings from my heart, just beginning to fly with emotion again...

...I love you.

It was as if my adrenaline level had shot through the roof, taking off after the Chimera with my throat rapidly becoming raw from shrieking at it to let Ryou go...and then, an answered prayer, it obliged me, bobbing toward the surface as it's skin dyed a deep crimson, leaving me to chase after him, still screaming at the top of my lungs, my legs beginning to ache...

And that's where I believe I made my mistake.

I'm so very pathetic.

Ryou doesn't notice as I move closer to the window, my gaze trained on my own reflection in the glass. Weak, pitiful, stupid, insecure. Uncertain, all the time.

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Two abrupt stops following Purin losing control and attempting to literally _take_ the wheel from Keiichiro (constantly smiling in that understanding manner of his that must be wearing thin by now), a couple of karaoke-grade concerts and a barely controlled eye twitch from Ryou later, we reach the café in the midst of misty twilight, the sky a clouded pale blue. I can smell the rain approaching. It's absolutely heavenly, although it does nothing to improve my mood.

Ryou sighs wearily; seemingly grateful the ride is over. "Retasu, I don't care what lengths you have to go through..._never_ let me tell Purin she can ride in the front _ever_ again." I have to agree with him on that one, although my only response is a characteristic nod -- I'm too tired to even formulate a fake smile, as usual.

Purin throws the door open and heads toward Café Mew Mew, whooping with delight, and Keiichiro slumps against the wheel. I guess even he has his limits. Ryou reaches past me and opens the car door, his arm brushing against mine, and I feel another blush coming on, ducking my head before he can notice it. "Thank you," I stammer, scrambling out of the car...and almost hitting the ground in another pathetically clichéd sprawl...

...only to have Ryou grab my arm, catching me before I fall. At that moment I lose control of my actions again, and our eyes meet against my will...and I'm once again reminded of how I've failed once again, always falling on my ass, always screwing something up. Always falling, and needing someone to catch me. My vision becomes blurred with tears, and before Ryou can ask me if I'm alright again, and before I can lie to both him and myself (no, I'm not okay, I'm not sure whether I should have saved you, I think I screwed up again, I don't want to be me anymore, I'm so very confused)...I yank my arm away and dash toward the doors, past Purin, who looks up in surprise, ignoring Ryou's voice calling after me, "Retasu, wait!"

I'm crying. I don't want you to see me cry.

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Things always move in a circle. Repeating the same words, always, I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm confused, unsure, uncertain. Stupid, screw up words. My words, my voice. All of it, all the time. Why can't they -- the demons, my demons -- leave me alone for once, let me remain secure in my actions, instead of bringing my doubts to the surface? Why can't they just leave me in peace? Why can't they let me be happy with my decision, for once?

I sob harder, my braids long since unraveled, my hair in my face, my hands soaked with tears. I hear Keiichiro, and Ryou, even Purin calling for me, sounding worried; I've hidden myself behind a counter in the kitchen, slumped on the floor with my knees muffling my whimpers. I wish Purin would just go home without me; it makes me feel even worse knowing I've made her late.

The door creaks open, a familiar voice calling my name. "Retasu? Are you in here?"

I fold into myself, hoping I'm making as little noise as possible. Go away, Ryou. Don't remind me. I don't want to think anymore, I'm tired. "Retasu?"

No noise, no noise, no-

Ryou leans over the counter, looking dead at me. He grins slightly, cocky as usual. "You know, no matter how quiet you are, it's almost impossible to hide from a cat."

I refuse to look up at him, attempting to make myself as small as possible. As if I can make myself disappear, become invisible. Even as I feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around me, pulling me into a warm embrace I've only dreamt of.

Ryou rests his head atop mine, his fingers running through my messy hair idly, and I shiver involuntarily. "Your hair is pretty...when you wear it down," he murmurs, always the shameless flirt.

"It's green," I whimper, rather stupidly, not sure of what to say in response. Ryou's reply makes even less sense. "I like the color green."

I stare up at him, and he looks back at me for a second, and I can't help but giggle a little bit. We both sound like idiots.

It's strange, but I can remember back to when I first decided I liked him, way back when I was first 'hired' at the café...and within minutes of it being official I made another slip-up: I dropped a pot of hot tea on his toe. I know, it's probably one of the easiest ways to get fired, which I should have been a long time ago, considering all the china I've broken. I'm positive I'm bad for business -- Ryou and Keiichiro are just too nice to admit it.

But I can remember...the pot hit his foot, his face turned blue, and I felt the flashes coming on, -- dozens of boys I've chased off by either tripping and knocking my head against theirs or dropping random heavy items on their feet, always with an insult or two before they turn away and leave my heart to crumble -- my ears pricked for the shout or curse or order to leave before I broke something else...

And he smiled. A forced smile, because I can't imagine anyone smiling with a scalded and smashed big toe, but a smile nonetheless. "You'll be just fine," he said, through clenched teeth. He didn't yell at me, he wasn't even annoyed. Maybe he was. But he hid it well. And my heart began to beat, ever so slightly.

And then, on the cruise ship, when I was overcome with nausea (ironic that a girl who's half finless porpoise could even possibly develop seasickness), absolutely miserable after having retched over the side of the deck several times, hoping I hadn't hit Ichigo and Purin in the water below because I knew they'd never let me hear the end of it...only to have a glass of some kind of juice pressed into my hand, greeted by that smile, alongside a look of concern. For me.

He said it was only orange juice.

But the way my heart began to race after drinking it, I swear it was a love potion, one of Purin's noxious looking concoctions. And it worked.

I've had so many crushes before, pointless due to the nature of their never being fulfilled even remotely with a glance in my direction. Ryou's different. He and Ichigo may argue constantly, over the most senseless things...but he's never been anything but kind to me, in spite of every broken dish, every mistake I've made. He catches me when I fall. He cares, even if only in a friendly way, about me. Could I have stopped myself from falling for him?

How could I possibly have any doubts as to my actions earlier?

The thought chases the tentative smile from my face and I begin to sob again, burying my head in his chest, soaking his shirt with my misery. Falling again. "I'm sorry," I manage to choke out.

His voice is gentle, caring, and yet firm. "Stop apologizing. You don't have anything to be sorry for."

You're wrong. "Yes, I do. I screwed up. I think I did. I don't know." I'm willing myself not to look up again, not to embarrass myself any more than I am at the moment.

"Retasu, look at me." No. "Retasu..." He places his hand under my chin, tilting my face upwards to look at...not the eyes, because I'll melt again and that's the _last_ thing I need. That expression is there, the same one of concern he showed me he possessed on the cruise ship, long ago and far away. "Retasu, you didn't do anything wrong today. You saved my life." Ryou locks gazes with me, and I can see the gratitude in his eyes. "If you hadn't come after me I'd have drowned, and then where would we be? Unless you're holding a grudge against me for something or the other, in which case I'm lucky you **did** decide to save me..."

"You...you were unconscious...you don't remember..." I sniffle, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand and hoping they aren't as red they usually are when I cry. "There was a really big Chimera anima underwater, the one that knocked the boat over..."

"I remember-" Ryou begins, only to jump in surprise as I do something I've never done before, completely out of my character...at least as everyone knows me. I yell, pushing him away and leaping to my feet, the words flying from my mouth like knives. Daggers. "No, you don't, Shirogane-san!! I...when we fell in the water, and you were...." I'm stammering pretty badly at this point, which I normally do when I get upset or nervous, another trait of mine that I view as a failure. "When you were unconscious the Chimera anima grabbed you and I went after it because none of my attacks were working and then it let you go when its body changed color and..."

I sigh, gripping the side of the counter; afraid I'll fall again otherwise. So tired. "Ichigo and the others told me that the Chimera anima we fought was full of a toxin that would have killed all the animals in the sea and everyone who drank the water if it had been released...and Ichigo managed to destroy it before it could...but..." Ryou's expression fades as I continue, and I know, without a doubt, for once, that our friendship will probably end with this truth, all my chances of our relationship ever being anything else dissipating like smoke on the wind. A zephyr. Wind that brings happiness, and then the rain returns.

"The anima let you go right before it turned red, and I went after you...I never thought of trying to stop it, but...what if it had released the toxins before Ichigo could stop it? Everyone would have died...and..." I'm shouting now, tears having resumed pouring down my cheeks. "It would have been my fault. All my fault, because I could have stopped it, but..." Ryou doesn't reply, still staring at me from the tiles, and I want to stop, but I'm no longer in control. "I'm scared, Shirogane-san. I'm always making mistakes, always making the wrong decision, all the time...what if I make a mistake one day, and people get hurt because of me? What if I'd made the wrong decision today? What was I supposed to do?? I don't...I wanted to save you...that was all I was thinking of...is that wrong?"

Ryou still doesn't answer. He must be horrified, and angry, that I'd think sacrificing him would be the better action. I'm so stupid. And confused. I look toward the floor, willing myself to stop crying...but I can't. I've fallen again, and I can't ever catch myself. And I don't think Ryou will, ever again.

He remains silent and stoic as he rises from the floor, turning away from me. The only time I'm right, why would it have to be about something like this? Even if he hates me now, I still... "I'm sorry...I just wanted to save you so much because...I...."

"I saw a movie once." Ryou says, quietly. I'm expecting him to shout, or to turn around and glare at me, anything but what happens next. I'm frozen, unable to run away as usual, as he walks over to me, a half-smile on his face. He pauses before me, and I yell at myself to run, to do _something_ (don't hit me, don't hate me, just-) ...when he reaches out and places a hand against my cheek, brushing away the shining tears with his palm. "It was American and in English, and I can't remember the name of it...but one of the characters had a hard decision to make. Whether to save their friend...or to save an entire planet."

I'm stunned into silence as he continues. "They asked someone what they should do...and they said, 'The needs of the many...outweigh the needs of the few.' I was really young, and I didn't understand what it meant, until Keiichiro told me." He looks over my head at something in the distance, his eyes slightly glazed with remembrance. Or something else. "He said it means...if there's a situation in which you have to choose between one person and a great deal of people, it would be more logical to do what it takes to save the greater number of people than the one. Even if it hurts."

He pauses again, and I go to lower my head again, only to have him halt my progress with his other hand. "But that's just a movie...and a really bad one, if I remember. People don't think like that." He smiles and looks into my eyes, and I feel my heart skip a hopeful beat. "Why did you make the decision to save me instead of going after the Chimera anima?"

It's a struggle to answer, but somehow I manage to. Clearly, strangely enough. "I didn't. My heart did...and I just went along with it." I'm blushing again, and I know it, especially as I realize what I just admitted to. Ryou either doesn't notice or doesn't react, wiping the tears from my other cheek. Even if Purin were to barrel through the door, shattering it to splinters, with Ichigo close behind her, yelling at the top of her lungs as usual, I don't think I'd notice.

"That's what most people do, let their hearts lead the way. And as long as it's in the right place, then whatever decision it makes is probably the right one. And even if it isn't...it's better to follow your heart than let it break." I feel as if I'm made of glass as he says his next words, if I move too quickly I might break, like the dozens of glasses I've shattered. "Don't doubt yourself so much, Retasu. You always make the right choice, whether you think so or not...and anyway, if I were in your place, I'd have done the same thing." He stops, realizing what he's said, and looks away quickly. It's weird how he could be so flirtatious with Ichigo...and suddenly he's lost his vocabulary of one-liners, as if too shy to continue.

On the other hand...his words...are the ones I've been dreaming of hearing. Ones I'd never thought I'd hear. The fact that he doesn't hate me for my line of thinking is fantastic in itself, but...to know that he would choose to risk giving up so much...for me...is enough to make me nearly cry again with happiness. Sure, he'd probably do the same thing for any of us, even Keiichiro (especially Keiichiro), but still...

We remain that way for a few minutes of awkward silence, not looking at other, his warm palm against my cheek.

It ends, of course, as they always do, when I raise my hand to halt a sneeze (more than likely we're both going to have caught colds by tomorrow morning), and Ryou frowns, looking at my wrist. "You hurt yourself."

I turn my wrist over, wondering how I could have missed the jagged red slash there, more than likely sustained during the fight with Pai. "I didn't even notice it..." I smile in my usual nonchalant manner. "It probably stopped bleeding while we were underwater, anyway. It doesn't really hurt or anything."

Ryou closes his eyes, assuming his authorative 'I'm in charge' stance that Ichigo normally challenges as a prelude to another argument. "It can still get infected." He reaches over my head to open a cabinet, removing a first aid kit that we all made the decision to put there following the 'incident' with Keiichiro's arm and a plate of muffins. The sheer amount and diversity of my escapades at Cafe Mew Mew are utterly alarming.

"I can do that, Shirogane-san," I start to say, but Ryou shakes his head, resuming his cocky, rather mischievous expression. "You've taken care of me so much today...it's only fair that I return the favor, right?"

I nod, unable to speak again. This is becoming a really bad habit.

It's funny, how ironic things can be. I've made every mistake in the course of history...

...and somehow, things manage to go exactly the way I wish they would. My demons must be shaking with frustration, as every pessimistic notion my mind can devise is running through it...and yet the only thing I can pay attention to is how perfect everything is, if only for the moment. I always believed that the legend about zephyrs bringing happiness was true. I just never believed that I could actually be right about it.

Ryou finishes binding my injured wrist, tying the loose ends of the bandage in a knot. "There. Good as new." He bows his head, as if inspecting his handiwork, but instead kisses the bandage, and I'm victim to the puddle effect as he lifts his head again, winking at me. "Now it is."

I want to stutter out, or at least make an attempt to, a 'thank you', but I'm still frozen, lost in those eyes I've spent all day avoiding. They really are beautiful, a greenish blue, maybe aqua hue that reminds me of the water.

But even better is the soul hiding within them.

I'm not sure what to do in such a situation, wishing Ichigo was there to share some of her usually erroneous advice; it occurs to me that we'd make a wonderful subject for a still-life painting, the two of us standing so close we're nearly touching, staring at each other in total silence, his hand gripping my wrist. And then the picture is ruined. I'm not sure which one of us moves first, maybe even myself, as we close our eyes, inching toward each other in what could be a slow motion effect, two people running toward each other in a field of flowers in the sunshine, picture perfect...

Our lips brush against each other...

...and then we both leap in surprise (and horror) as Purin literally kicks the door in, racing across the floor with the speed and agility only a monkey can achieve, and _somehow_ clambers up Ryou's back, leaping from his head and crashing down upon me. It would hurt if I wasn't used to by now.

"Retasu-oneechan!!" Purin squeezes my midsection in a tight hug, loud as usual. "Retasu-oneechan, are you okay??"

No, Purin, I think you just crushed my ribcage. "Yes, Purin. I'm sorry if I worried you." I suddenly remember her flying leap from Ryou's head and look over to where he's crouched, hands clasped against his head, glaring at Keiichiro, who's standing in the doorway snickering in the most genteel manner possible. "Shirogane-san, are **you** okay??"

Ryou pauses in shooting murderous glances at Keiichiro long enough to raise two fingers in a peace sign, winking at me once again. "Oh, I'm fine." His tone is sarcastic, but I doubt Purin picks up on it. "It would probably hurt if I wasn't used to it by now."

For the first time in forever, I have to grin. Exactly what I was thinking.

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I'm utterly wiped out as I hoist my book-laden bag onto my shoulder, Purin literally hanging from my middle like a phantom appendage. I'm facing homework galore, alongside walking Purin home, which'll be an exercise in auditory long-temperedness, something I'm grateful I was blessed with. And yet I could care less. It's dark outside by now, and Purin and I turn on the sidewalk outside the cafe to wave goodbye to Ryou and Keiichiro. "Bye-bye, Shirogane-oniichan!! Bye, Keiichiro-san!!" Purin calls, loudly enough for not only the two people in question to hear, but the rest of the city of Tokyo as well. And it's absolutely adorable.

I'm much more demure, somehow managing to wave in spite of Purin being attached to my waist and the ton of books hanging like a sack of bricks from my shoulder. "Goodnight, Akasaka-san, Shirogane-san."

Keiichiro waves in return, and Ryou unexpectedly leans forward, whispering into my ear, "You _know_ you don't have to call me that, right?"

He steps back, almost as quickly, and I catch the blush before it spreads, nodding. "Thank you, Sh...Ryou..." I pause, searching for the correct suffix. I want to...but can I risk it? What if...I shake my head, smiling to myself. I'll take the chance. My heart wants me to. "Ryou-_chan_."

Ryou smiles back, and Purin blinks, completely silent for once. I turn, dragging her with me as she still refuses to let go of me, and we start down the sidewalk, our path lit by the myriad streetlights of Tokyo.

Purin is quiet for a record-breaking thirty seconds before she breaks, unable to stand the silence any longer. "Oneechan, did you just call Ryou _Ryou-chan_??"

"Yes, I did."

"Then that means..." Purin squeals in excitement. "You're in love with Shirogane-oniichan!!"

Yes. "Maybe," I reply, in a secretive tone.

"That's so cool!! Oneechan and oniichan are in love with each other, even though oniichan would probably kill me if I said that in front of him, and that means I have to keep my secret knowledge to myself because if I tell Mintu-oneechan she'll probably tell Ichigo-oneechan and then Ichigo-oneechan'll tell oniichan I told Mintu-oniichan and..."

I don't even bother trying to follow Purin's rambling, speeding train of thought, still smiling to myself. There's the smell of rain on the wind, and it's wonderful; the world is perfect for once, and I haven't tripped and fallen for a good hour and a half now.

So I say as I step on a crack and sprawl headfirst into a patch of freshly cut decorative grass.

"Oneechan, are you okay?"

My expression remains even as Purin helps me to my feet, and we lean down to pick up the books I've sent flying all over the place, still faced with the chore of chasing down the papers flying like festival banners on the rising wind.

I'm sure my insecurity will return tomorrow, my demons in full force. But past all the other uncertainties and doubts, the one thing I'm sure I'm certain of is the beating of my own heart.

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--fin---

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That was so sappy I'm honestly ashamed. And it's a pretty darn long one-shot, too. And I swore in it!! ::bows in apology:: Not to mention I'm sure everybody was OOC except for Purin, because that kid has a powerful set of lungs in both the manga and the anime. ' .

Ryou's quote was from one of the Star Trek movies I saw way back in the day, The Search for Spock, I think…he doesn't remember 'cause neither do I. And yes, apparently they watch dubs of English movies over there as well, because plot convenience is a wonderful device.

I said in the author's note in the beginning that I was basing it on the events of episode 41...but then I turned around and mentioned some events that might have taken place only in the manga. In the anime Purin calls Retasu 'oneechan', which is the same as 'sister' or 'big sister' (although the latter is normally expressed as 'oneesama') and oniichan is, respectively, 'brother'; I honestly don't know what she calls the other girls and Ryou and Keiichiro (whose name I'm sure I'm spelling wrong), but it seemed cuter the way I put it. Even though it made my spellcheck spontaneously combust. And then in regards to Ryou I've only seen episodes 3, 40, and 41, but it seems like his persona varies in the anime and the manga. In the manga he's two steps short of a punk (Papi's vocabulary makes no sense whatsoever) and much more expressive, and he seems a lot more subdued in the anime, but I could be wrong there, going on with my knowledge from only _3_ episodes. So the setting is anime, but the flashbacks are manga and anime, and then Ryou's personality is manga, meaning there's just no kind of continuity here. Oh, well. Who expects logic in a sappy, WAFF-ly one-shot anyway? Oh, yes, there are the two swear words...sorry, people. The first was intentional, the second was for effect. It just happened. And who says Retasu doesn't think this articulately?

::realizes she's just pretty much flamed her own fiv:: I'm sowwy. Anyway, I'm sorry for any mistakes I might have made, if it's so mind-bendingly aggravating that you feel you have to set me on fire with flames I'll accept them and any other kind of feedback graciously. It's cold here in ATL and flames may actually keep me from freezing to death. : )


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